Interlude VI

Cheeseburger Brown is not available at the moment, but if you would care to leave a message please do so at the sound of the hyperlink. Be sure to include the hour and month of your call.

We understand that there have been storytelling service interruptions in your area, and trained personnel are working to resolve the situation as quickly as possible. We know that when it comes to storytelling, you have a choice, and we appreciate your continued patience.

Patrons who might be experiencing acute symptoms of withdrawl can apply to receive a special coupon redeemable for an additional free story at no extra charge when the stream of free stories resumes. Some conditions may apply in Louisiana and Quebec. See dealer for details.

Once Mr. Brown has settled his outstanding debt with Satan, he will return to full storytelling duties. When asked about the expected duration of this narrative interregnum, Mr. Brown stated only that his "financial-related issues are more complex than I originally thought."

Charitable donations of food, water, liquor and blood may be contributed to the effort by pre-paid courier, with tax receipts for those who qualify being sent out before the start of the next quarter. (O Rh Positive, Canadian Club Rye Whiskey -- do not mix in freight.)

Questioned about new storylines in gestation during this period, Mr. Brown was emphatic. "Are you kidding? I don't have enough brain power left to tie my bloody shoes, let alone come up with new stories. I'm burned out. The other day I was in such an extreme state of mental desertification that I actually watched the television for an hour."

Mr. Brown then fell unconscious on our shoes, eyes rolling up into his head as he mumbled something about being "mad, in a coma, or back in time," and began humming nursery rhymes off-key. A duo of gentlemen in white coats turned up to fetch him, and then returned him to his desk so he could resume work.

Meanwhile, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police are continuing their efforts to search the surrounding woods for Mr. Brown's dignity and peace. Tracking dogs have been dispatched, and hot cocoa will be served by the local constabulary for volunteer searchers. Please note: all volunteers are encouraged to supply their own mittens.

On a related note, Mr. Brown seeks to hear from any readers with broadcast experience compositing motion graphics with Adobe After Effects who might be interested in periodic freelance assignments. Portfolio materials can be sent or linked via e-mail to Cheeseburger Brown at Gmail for appraisal.

Thank you for your attention.