tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post6591582513895414322..comments2023-05-14T21:11:23.699-04:00Comments on CHEESEBURGER BROWN: Story Wallah: The Profiteers, Part 4Cheeseburger Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01384136287767500794noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-88404956705820135202013-08-16T16:58:24.362-04:002013-08-16T16:58:24.362-04:00I just finished reading it all in one sitting. I w...I just finished reading it all in one sitting. I wasn't sure why Miles suddenly forgot two major characters, when previously he seemed to be the one who remembered things while Dennis forgot. I like that Miles had the same car problems that (I think) did in poor, rich Ved. Neat scene when Miles cuts the worker to prove a point.Markhttp://blog.markwill.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-51031647878318977552013-07-31T19:22:07.877-04:002013-07-31T19:22:07.877-04:00SaintPeter, the names confused me too -- particula...SaintPeter, the names confused me too -- particularly in the third act when I think he mixes up Miles and Dennis in the dialogue.Sheik Yerboutinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-35340696609094227592013-07-31T15:27:05.924-04:002013-07-31T15:27:05.924-04:00In truth, this one left me a bit flat. I managed ...In truth, this one left me a bit flat. I managed to miss the Mr. Miss references - they were a tad too oblique for me. The "FBI Guy" was just a little too nondescript. I actually re-read the entire passage looking for clues, because I was had been on the lookout for Mr. Miss.<br /><br />The biggest challenge for me was keeping up with all the names. Usually when I read I don't actually keep track of peoples names (except, of course, the main characters). I just pick up who they are by the description of them or what they're doing. In this story that wasn't really possible and so many had "generic" names that I couldn't remember who was supposed to know who. Combine that with it being spread across 5 weeks and I kinda lost the tread somewhere.<br /><br />The characters were mostly flat, though, except for the main dude, but the "I" in the story was almost a non-entity. I kept forgetting it was in first person, which is pretty weird for a first person story.<br /><br />I get the gist, though - self fulfilling prophecies and temporal warfare. Just wish it had a bit more flavor.<br /><br />I'll give it a re-read and see if it makes more sense when read all together.SaintPeterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02064605142705446251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-47030018821475364332013-07-31T11:42:34.389-04:002013-07-31T11:42:34.389-04:00Joshua, I didn't even notice that. Great catc...Joshua, I didn't even notice that. Great catch -- and of course the "flipping stiffly" through a little notebook should have tipped me off as well.<br /><br />So how much of this is really someone affecting the past, and how much is just reality bleeding out? I know the two can intermingle (as with Cabot and his Minotaur suit).<br /><br />Either way, CBB, you've done another bang-up job of raising a cloud of questions through your limited exposition. Fascinating format as well -- it's almost like you saw Audrey Niffenegger's non-linear narrative and thought "heck, I can blow minds <i>without</i> slicing and dicing the timeline".Sheik Yerboutinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-29138031196787937432013-07-31T09:20:44.412-04:002013-07-31T09:20:44.412-04:00Dear Smiley K,
That sounds like an interesting id...Dear Smiley K,<br /><br />That sounds like an interesting idea for a science-fiction story.<br /><br />Dear pso,<br /><br />The link seems to be working for me so either the outage was intermittent or I've misunderstood you. Indeed, Google has been redirecting my blog to a Canadian domain for many months now -- not a change on my end. I guess they were sick of Canadians trying to make their blogs look more cosmopolitan by pretending to be American.<br /><br />Dear Joshua,<br /><br />He had to cameo somewhere. With the next Mr. Miss story the reasons for that will be more apparent.<br /><br />Dear Sheik,<br /><br />Considered the state of my overstretched brain right now creepy is about all I could muster, but I'm glad it worked somewhat. Thanks for reading and troubling to comment. I appreciate it.<br /><br />Yours,<br />Cheeseburger BrownCheeseburger Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01384136287767500794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-40112982756570201822013-07-30T12:50:26.436-04:002013-07-30T12:50:26.436-04:00Cree. Pee.
Dang, CBB.
That is all.Cree. Pee.<br /><br />Dang, CBB.<br /><br />That is all.Sheik Yerboutinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-56163605478013550382013-07-30T11:30:38.749-04:002013-07-30T11:30:38.749-04:00Fantastic. Good story with a great ending.
Very ...Fantastic. Good story with a great ending. <br /><br />Very nice touch: <br />"The dour fellow got up and limped to the door."Joshua Hemminghttp://www.syntaxerror.ccnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-70060438455219947422013-07-30T10:40:31.265-04:002013-07-30T10:40:31.265-04:00Whoa, it's blogspot.ca now. And the link to pa...Whoa, it's blogspot.ca now. And the link to part 3 seems to be broken.psonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16435271.post-6341176013970129512013-07-30T08:52:29.561-04:002013-07-30T08:52:29.561-04:00God is no longer in charge of destiny. He outsour...God is no longer in charge of destiny. He outsourced it to the future.Smiley Khttp://www.luf.orgnoreply@blogger.com